The crossroads

 nothing is sure

Life is divided into several chapters, between the good times and the bad, the battles and the victories, working hard and then enjoying what we’ve worked for, making mistakes and then learning from them, wining and losing, running, living and suffering; either way, the circle is endless, it never stops and never pauses.

And then there are other moments in life, that seem like blank spots, times when you don’t really know where you’re standing or which way you’re heading, they’re crossroads between what is gone and what is coming, and they are probably the hardest, because there’s nothing more brutal than just waiting..

You wouldn’t know what to think or what to feel, your head is just a big question mark, and every thought, every idea only adds more questions, there are no answers, as nothing is sure and anything is possible at the same time, you don’t know if you should feel guilty or victimized, because you sure can’t feel neither, it doesn’t feel right to just carry on and it doesn’t feel right to give up, even when there is a ray of hope, it’s unclear if you should hold on to it with all your might or just let it go because you’re probably being delusional, you’re just hanging there like a fallen leaf in the middle of autumn.

We don’t often go through something like that, but when it happens; it is always before something fundamental is about to change, it’s like life wants us to pause and take a deep breath to prepare ourselves for whatever is coming, and to fully appreciate it when it is here, for if it weren’t precious, if it weren’t meaningful, we wouldn’t have to suffer because of it the least bit.

This usually involves some big decision that is too hard you almost wish someone else could make it for you, but we all know it’s inevitable to do it on your own, this is probably why we feel our loneliest at times like this, after all; you don’t gain strength by having backup or using help, you gain strength by facing the unknown by yourself, because the hardest battles are always fought alone.

The biggest decisions in life can never be made without a great amount of wisdom, and courage, things that can only be gained with patience, you’re immersed in questions because the time for answers hasn’t come yet, it’s a chapter when you’re supposed to wonder and wander, it may seem like there’s no destination in particular, but it is there waiting for you, you’re just not supposed to get there yet, you’re not supposed to know yet, which is the reason why you can’t find any answers, as some questions are meant for us to answer ourselves, some are meant to help us understand, and others are there to clear the path for us and make it easier to figure it out, because the more you wonder, the more you’ll know.

You’re only supposed to pause and wait, it’s a test of your patience and perseverance, it’s above all a test of your faith, do you just drown in the fears or remember that God does nothing without a reason and brings us everything in its right time, remember that everything he does; he does it beautifully, perfectly, it’s too complicated for our flawed minds to grasp, but it’s the truth whether we remember it or not, the only thing you need to know is that even when you feel lost, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Amal.S

 

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